How Leaders Can Come Back From Cringeworthy Moments

This expert opinion by Nuala Walsh, CEO of MindEquity, behavioral scientist, and non-executive director, was originally published on Inc.com.

In the 1988 French Open final, German tennis player Steffi Graf beat Belarusian Natasha Zvereva 6–0, 6–0 in just 32 minutes. The humiliation was brutal. A double bagel in a Grand Slam final is unthinkable—a humiliation Zvereva would never forget.

It’s understandable. When mortified, you’re convinced your reputation is trashed. Yet people move on—or do they?

From startups to executives, the cringe factor lasts way longer than the incident itself. It hijacks what we say and sabotages what we decide. From American Airlines to Boeing, few brands escape the sting, either.

But it doesn’t have to take over your reputation or the way you move forward.

Why The Cringe Cripples Your Confidence

Today’s cringe creates tomorrow’s leadership indecision. It can shatter confidence, shake dignity, and trigger the need for swift impression management. 

Most brands avoid its costly consequences. In 2023, Adidas’s record-setting deal with Kanye West lost over $1.3 billion in projected revenue. Why? Because the company delayed a response to West’s controversial statements. 

When everyone acts to protect their brand, decisions falter. High stakes amplify indecision further, activating avoidance loops. Remember Peloton’s hesitation to address safety concerns over its treadmill? This led to delayed recalls and plummeting consumer trust. A solvable issue became a costly crisis. While fear of judgment explains this, so does modern technology.

Television and social media have turned every presentation, memo, or panel into a potential viral moment. We play not to lose or be canceled. British Chancellor Rachel Reeves was caught on camera crying in Parliament after a grueling week. That’s mortifying! After a £3 billion panic sell-off, she blamed “a personal matter.” It’s easy to overcompensate.

Of course, the more public or senior, the greater the risk of humiliation and subsequent pain. Some respond well to the cringe. Shark Tank’s Mark Cuban was embarrassed to learn that some Dallas Mavericks staff relied on welfare, so he gave them salary hikes.

While embarrassment can damage brands, it can also be useful.

Embarrassing Moments Aren’t Always Bad

While embarrassment is rooted in ego, it can keep egos in check and remind us not to cut corners and cheat, or risk humiliation. It’s a moral sensor that cues you towards your values.

In many ways, embarrassment communicates a non-verbal apology. It signals that you care. That’s important for leaders, as Gallup found only 39 percent of employees believe someone at work cares for them.

Owning a cringe moment can also boost your influence. Harvard Business Review suggests that we see leaders who admit mistakes as more credible than those who deflect blame. It makes sense. Far from being a source of shame, we rate brave leaders as more competent and trustworthy. It signals relatability.

Since red faces signal discomfort, this is incredibly useful in negotiations, whether over FBI hostages or price haggling. Just ensure it’s the other side that’s cringing, not you!

From Cringe To Credibility: 6 Ways To Limit The Fallout

Moving on matters. During his Dartmouth commencement speech, Roger Federer talked about how he won only 54 percent of the points but 80 percent of his matches. Without dwelling on the past, he got it right when it mattered. As leaders, you want to de-risk embarrassment.  As a behavioral scientist, I find several techniques can protect you, your team, and your brand. Here’s how you can move on from embarrassing moments in the workplace.

1. Normalize Learning

BBC political editor Laura Kuenssberg accidentally emailed her notes to Boris Johnson before their interview. She owned it and learned from it.

2. Remove The Shame

Help clients or colleagues escape the abyss. Treat them as the hero who has recovered. Most people empathize anyway. Humor and self-deprecation disarm adverse reactions.

3. Cascade The Spotlight Effect

We think others notice our behavior more than they do. The reality is, others don’t find us half as interesting as we find ourselves! You might observe a colleague’s clumsy presentation or inappropriate language, but your attention lasts seconds; theirs lasts the entire day.

4. Separate Error From Identity

Reframe certain missteps as random, not a fixable flaw. As I write in Tune In: How to Make Smarter Decisions in a Noisy World, identity is just one of 10 predictable judgment traps. When you make decisions only to look good, reputations get tarnished.

5. Model Imperfection

Those who admit error are more likely to be forgiven. Why? We’re all imperfect and love the underdog. It’s why comeback stories go viral.

6. Tune In

Notice when colleagues or clients adopt a different tone or appear less enthusiastic. In their mortification, your kindness makes a difference.

Embarrassment is an uncomfortable but temporary state. Importantly, it spurs you to up your game. Embrace your cringe moment. Natasha Zvereva rebounded spectacularly, becoming the world No. 1 in doubles. It’s a powerful reminder that embarrassment can catalyze growth when its feedback is redirected.

The smartest leaders learn to grow from this. That’s nothing to cringe at!