The Real Cause Of Generational Conflict—And How To Fix It

This expert opinion by Debra Roberts, an interpersonal communications expert and author, was originally published on Inc.com.

After facilitating a half-day workshop for leaders on workplace communication, one attendee approached me. David, an executive at a professional services company in New York, said, “These days, young people just don’t want to put in the work. It’s exhausting.”

The week before, one of his new team members left work without following protocol for requesting time off. David saw him at the elevator and asked if everything was okay. The young team member told him that everything was fine and that he had finished his work, so he was leaving for the weekend. It was noon.

This type of experience is not uncommon. For the first time in history, six generations are sharing the workplace. Those born before 1946, the Silent Generation, are serving on boards. Those born after 2010, Generation Alpha, are just starting their high school jobs and internships. That means a range of lifestyles, values, and communication styles are navigating the workplace together, all under one roof. 

David expected his new team member to work a full day, every day. He felt that was a reasonable expectation and didn’t think it required an explanation. A forty-hour workweek means you work forty hours.

Different generations share certain experiences. Those experiences inform their values. But the real issue isn’t someone’s age, values, or generational label; it’s their ability to communicate and connect. 

Look Beyond The Stereotypes To Values

We know intuitively, and Johns Hopkins University has confirmed, that our childhoods — the environments in which we were raised and the resources or experiences we lacked or were deprived of — strongly influence the development of our values. And it is our value differences, not our generational labels, that can lead to workplace conflict. 

Despite this understanding, generational stereotypes persist—like the perception that Boomers are loyal but resist change, that Gen Xers are independent and efficient but cynical. Millennials are often seen as confident but entitled, while Gen Z is value-driven but can’t take feedback. 

When we communicate through the lens of a stereotype, we stop seeing each other as individuals. According to the stereotype, a Boomer who prefers in-person meetings is resisting change, especially as it relates to technology. But that Boomer may not be resisting change at all: they may simply value the level of trust that can be built with a face-to-face connection. 

Of course, both things can be true, but when you take the time to understand why someone approaches their work differently, then you can respond with curiosity rather than frustration. Building new and strong connections starts with that awareness and an open mind. It’s not about changing who they are but learning to meet people where they are.

Focus On Intergenerational Interactions

I recently spoke with Cindy Dulay, the Senior Manager of Learning Experience and Technology at  ZoomInfo. She and her team built an onboarding process designed to help global sales and services reps of all generations connect and collaborate from day one.

Each new hire completes a 90-day, role-specific onboarding experience that emphasizes clarity, communication, and relationship-building. This is followed by continued learning in the ZoomInfo Academy, where reps can build their skills at their own pace. 

That combination of structure and choice works across generations. It provides clear guidance for those who value direction and mentorship, while also offering autonomy and flexibility for those who prefer self-guided learning. Dulay explained, “We built our Onboarding and Academy experiences around a skills-based architecture – every course, assessment, and milestone is mapped to the core capabilities that drive success in each role. It gives us a structured foundation that scales globally.” 

Throughout both phases, ZoomInfo pairs experienced reps who bring institutional knowledge with newer hires who contribute fresh perspectives and technical skills. The result is mutual respect, shared learning, and the breaking down of stereotypes, leading to fewer “us versus them” barriers that often show up between age groups.

It’s a strong example of how intentional communication and continued support can turn generational differences into collaboration, better communication, and growth.

Address Generational Friction Head-On 

These problems often start at the top. Leadership sets the tone for how people treat each other, and if respect and collaboration aren’t talked about, modeled, and expected, they will not take root. When leaders don’t make communication and teamwork a priority, both long-term employees and new hires can become disengaged, avoiding conversations because they don’t have to have them. 

Create a culture where they have to—where being part of the organization means participating in open dialogue, connection, and shared accountability.

Differences are normal. If they are discussed instead of avoided, they can actually enhance team cohesion. Employees need safe spaces to talk about what is working and what is not, and leaders need to be willing to listen without defensiveness. Whether it is a misunderstanding of expectations, differences in communication styles, or work habits, the goal isn’t to erase the differences, but to navigate them constructively. Here’s how:

• Lead with respect and curiosity. Seek to learn and understand the other person. Consider the individual and learn about them as a person, not as a member of a particular generation.
• Be clear about expectations. Clarity prevents frustration and blame. Don’t assume all companies operate similarly and that your new employee should just know what’s expected of them. It is your job to educate your employees about your culture. Tell them the rules, preferably before you hire them, and if there is an issue, have a conversation about it.
• Give people the benefit of the doubt. Assume most people want to do well and care about their work. Always approach others from the perspective that each of you wants a positive outcome, whether that is having a good conversation or working together effectively. That mindset opens you up, and others will experience you that way too, which makes collaboration easier.
• Avoid defensiveness and assumptions. Ask questions before jumping to conclusions. When you behave defensively, you are already closed off to a good outcome. The other person will quickly see that you are uninterested in them or what they have to say, which results in an unproductive conversation.
• Keep communicating. Don’t just talk when there is a problem; check in regularly. People need to know they matter, regardless of their age or how long they have been with the company. Poor or unclear communication leads to misunderstandings and unnecessary stress. Effective communication is a requirement for thriving teams and organizations. It is the only way to build resiliency and address differences constructively.

Like it or not, leadership drives culture. When you model respect and accountability, it creates a ripple effect throughout the organization. My online program, The Communication Protocol®, was designed to help organizations strengthen collaboration, address misunderstandings, and resolve conflicts. It gives teams a comprehensive, shared language and a practical, easy-to-follow structure for conversations so they can focus less on who’s right and more on working together effectively and productively. If people can’t give and receive feedback, navigate differences, or build trust, every other investment falls flat.

Good communication solves more intergenerational conflicts than any training, meeting, or policy ever could. When people learn to approach each other with curiosity, mutual respect, and the benefit of the doubt, they build collaboration and resilience that strengthen and sustain teams over the long term. Leaders who commit to elevating communication don’t just solve problems; they shape the culture that will define the future.