7 Counterintuitive Negotiation Strategies That Win Every Time

This expert opinion by Peter Economy, also known as The Leadership Guy, was originally published on Inc.com.

Negotiation is a fact of business life. Whether you’re negotiating your salary, a deadline, a supplier contract, or a team project, your success is linked to how well you communicate and influence. Yet most people approach negotiations armed with outdated, zero-sum, win-lose tactics. Here are seven counterintuitive negotiation strategies that can turn negotiations into a win-win outcome for all involved. 

1. Design The Negotiation Process Before Playing The Game. 

Before getting into the nuts and bolts of a deal, negotiate the negotiation. Set the ground rules for how and when decisions will be made, by whom, and based on what criteria. Decide in advance how you’ll measure progress and adjust the approach as needed. Don’t let someone design a process that suits them and leaves you with the least power or influence. Control of the negotiation process is just as important as control of the negotiation content. It’s also easier to agree to changes in the process than the actual deal. 

2. Ask Why Instead Of Arguing What. 

Too many negotiations end in a stalemate because both sides hunker down on what they want without listening to why the other side wants it. Avoid the what and instead dive deep into the why of the other person’s demands. When you understand their underlying interests, you’ll often discover you’re actually in alignment and not in conflict after all. What seems non-negotiable on the surface is usually tactical or based on a need that both you and the other party share and can solve in multiple ways. 

3. Map Out The Negotiation Constraints And Preferences. 

Know the difference between your counterpart’s actual constraints and their negotiating position. Understanding where they have legitimate budget caps, regulatory hurdles, technical limitations, and other constraints gives you a huge advantage in knowing where to concentrate your efforts. 

4. Normalize The Emotional Rollercoaster. 

Negotiations are often filled with frustration, disappointment, and conflict. Don’t sit around pretending “it’ll all be fine” and everyone will play nice. Seek to get everyone’s buy-in that emotions are going to run high at times, and that’s OK. If your counterpart is prepared for conflict and stress and still wants to negotiate, you’re in good shape. People are more resilient and less likely to bolt when push comes to shove if they know it’s coming. 

5. Treat Ultimatums Like Empty Threats. 

When your counterpart shouts “never” or “absolutely not,” don’t believe it. Most threats and ultimatums are hot air or posturing. Your counterpart will generally calm down and walk back their emotional or positional demands when you graciously ignore them. Don’t let your counterpart make you walk away or kill the deal by thinking that threats of no deal mean they’re serious. In most negotiations, true deal breakers are few and far between, with most “nevers” becoming “maybes” if you ignore them long enough. 

6. Ask For Everything And Offer Multiple Proposals. 

Always ask for more than you expect to get and provide multiple options at the same time. Not only does it show flexibility on your part, but it also gives your counterpart more influence over the outcome, which they will appreciate. In addition, the more options you present, the easier it will be for you to see where your counterpart has real constraints and where they’re just posturing or being unreasonable. 

7. Accept Value In All Forms. 

Last but not least, don’t be afraid to accept other forms of value besides money. Is there a chance you can get better payment terms, faster delivery, more favorable delivery obligations, a higher percentage of future business, or a better price for a competitor’s product? Are you willing to accept reduced risk or non-price-related perks in exchange for meeting their demands? The more types of value you can accept, the more potential solutions you have for crafting win-win deals.