Lonely? You Don’t Need An AI Friend, You Need A Book

This expert opinion by Jessica Stillman, contributor, was originally published on Inc.com.

The media is full of stories about America’s loneliness epidemic, and the U.S. Surgeon General even issued warnings about the problem. Among the people who clearly have read up on the subject is Mark Zuckerberg. 

“The average American I think has, it’s fewer than three friends—three people they’d consider friends—and the average person has demand for meaningfully more,” the Meta founder recently said in an interview with podcaster Dwarkesh Patel. 

The solution to this problem, according to Zuckerberg? AI pals—ideally supplied by Meta, of course. 

AI Friends Are A Sad Replacement For Human Friends. 

Zuckerberg’s suggestion has been met with widespread ridicule. Some experts pointed to early evidence that more AI use is actually linked with higher levels of loneliness. Psychologists explained in exasperated tones that real human relationships are built on empathy and understanding, both of which chatbots conspicuously lack. 

Some experts, though, were at least a little sympathetic to what Zuckerberg is trying to accomplish. University of California, Irvine, psychology professor Stephen Schueller, for instance, recently told the Wall Street Journal, “Most people don’t have access to a therapist, so for them, it’s not chatbot versus therapist. It’s chatbot versus nothing.”

Everyone without a financial incentive to sell AI friends can see that chatbots are a sad substitute for human relationships. But there is a case to be made that they might be better than nothing. 

There’s one problem with this argument, though. According to science, a technology already exists that can act as a supplement to friendship and a balm to loneliness. It’s also way cheaper and easier to access than LLMs that take billions to build. It’s called a book. 

Books: A Better Technology To Supplement Social Connection

I am a confirmed word nerd English major, so I am not going to pretend I am not a partisan for old-school book reading. I have written many times about the benefits of losing yourself in a book. Reading obviously makes you smarter and more knowledgeable, but it also appears to help rewire your brain for greater focus, memory, empathy, and EQ. But even being very aware of all these benefits, the results of recent studies on books and loneliness still surprised me. 

One survey of 2,000 people from U.K. charity The Reader found that reading books reduces feelings of loneliness, particularly among young adults. Of those aged 18-34, 59 percent said reading made them feel more connected to others, while 56 percent said reading helped them feel less alone during the pandemic. 

A separate survey from another U.K. charity, The Queen’s Reading Room, confirmed this link between more reading and less loneliness. 

Evidence that books can reduce loneliness isn’t limited to pro-reading British charities. Brain imaging research also suggests spending time with fictional characters on the page lights up some of the same brain regions as spending time with flesh and blood people. 

“A neuroimaging study of young adults found that reading fiction, particularly passages with social content, activated areas of the brain involved in social behaviour and emotional understanding, such as the dorsomedial prefrontal cortex,” Neuroscience News reports, adding:  

“This brain region was also linked to the stronger social cognition seen in frequent fiction readers, suggesting a neural pathway through which reading fosters greater social connectedness.” 

To Beat Loneliness, Ignore The AI Hype 

The promise of artificial intelligence is vast. It may help us discover novel drugs, automate routine drudgery, and provide better, cheaper customer service. But probably the least likely benefit of AI is providing a genuine, healthy alternative to human connection. 

Human minds, on the other hand, craft books (good ones at least). They demand that you ponder and attempt to understand another consciousness. Often, they reflect parts of yourself back to you. This often includes parts you thought were weird or shameful, showing you that you aren’t alone in your oddities. They nudge you to think through the twisting complexities of social relations. 

The best solution to loneliness is always going to be to spend more time with people. No technology will change that. But if you’re a busy entrepreneur looking to supplement your social connections with something other than a family dinner or friends’ get together, don’t believe the AI hype. Get a book instead. 

Books may be old and unsexy, but there is real scientific evidence they can take the edge off your loneliness. Talking to a tangle of math and code—and sucking up vast quantities of power in the process—won’t.